Fortune's Vanity

Vanity is my favorite sin. - Al Pacino

I have an admission to make. I am vain. I haven't always been; I used to not care at all how I appeared to others. However, sometime between my childhood and adulthood that changed.


Now, don't misunderstand me, when I say "vain" I simply mean that I'm preoccupied with how I look. I spend a good two hours in the morning doing who knows what to look what I would deem "presentable." It's not Tinkerbell vanity where I think I'm drop dead gorgeous and can't pull myself away from the mirrors or anything. It's actually nearly the opposite. Most people who know me wouldn't know this ... my family is the exception. They know this because I spend a good portion of my morning (and other intervals throughout the day if I'm home) primping.


Well, today we got Chinese food and I had the opportunity to open a fortune cookie which told me that "Happy events will take place shortly in your home." I knew that it was referring specifically to Sharrie coming home, and thought that the cookies were inordinately insightful today. I went down and was watching New Moon (laughing my butt off at all the bad acting, I might add) and decided that my movie was in deep need of popcorn. As I was popping my corn, I decided I'd have another fortune cookie to tide me over. I'd already had a fortune cookie, but so had everyone else, and, as my family will testify, I'm a mooch. So, I took the cookie.


Still waiting for my corn to pop I went in the bathroom to check out my appearance. I'm usually rather derogatory but I felt kind of pretty today for some unknown reason. I stuffed half the cookie in my mouth and thought, "Eh. You're looking pretty good today. I think you could hold your own against Kristen Stewart..." just as this thought was processing I glanced down at my fortune which read, "You are apt to give too much thought to appearance." Now, that's a keeper. Haha.